Avoiding Fights Over an Estate

By Jenny Ling, Esq.

One of the unfortunate outcomes when a parent passes away is that the surviving family members may end up in court and conflict for many years over the estate. This can be a fight between siblings, or it can be a fight between a step-parent and step-children, or even nieces and nephews and their aunts and uncles when a grandparent passes away.  Having a well thought out estate plan can help ensure that a family does not get torn apart upon the death of a loved one. 

Perhaps you are reading this because you want to help make sure your parents have their ducks in a row.  And your parents may tell you, oh yes, we have a plan.  Be sure that the Will or Trust is not outdated.  Also, be sure that the plan is well thought out. As we’ve seen in our probate practice, plans that are not thoughtfully crafted can lead to more problems for the Personal Representative and Trustee.

Perhaps you are a parent creating your estate plan and you just want to have your children split everything equally when you pass away. You believe that your children have always gotten along and are just leaving it up to them to sort it all out.  This can have a devasting impact on the children’s relationship with each other when they start to disagree. For instance, if you are leaving behind real estate, each child may be in a different financial situation, and have different ideas about what to do with mom’s house. Maybe one wants to sell it because they have a financial hardship, one wants to live in it, and one wants to rent it out. Or your child may have a spouse who may be encouraging behavior that is causing a rift between your children when they are sorting out your estate. 

Common areas of contention are:

• Family Home. Perhaps you have one child who is living in the home with you, but your estate plan indicates that the house is to be sold upon your death. Where will that child live after you’ve gone?
• Vacation Home. How can this be thoughtfully passed down through the generations? How can this be shared equitable?
• Family Business. Perhaps your business is your largest asset, but only one child is running it. Certainly, it would not be fair for the business to be split equally among all the children, but it may also not be fair for one child to receive the bulk of your estate.
• Family Heirlooms. Often times it is items of sentimental value that leads to the largest rift when left for family to just figure it out.
• The fact that one child has been the primary caregiver, but the estate is to be divided in equal shares.
• When everything ends up with the step-parent, and the children are left with either nothing, or are waiting for the step-parent to pass away before they receive their inheritance, and are standing-by only able to watch the step-parent chip away at their inheritance.

You know your family best, but do not put on your rose-colored glasses when making your estate plan.  Money has a way of making old wounds come back and creating new ones, and these can be wounds that are hard to heal.  Taking steps to avoid an estate battle is better than just hoping your family will not fight. Your loved ones will be dealing with big feelings of grief and could act outside their character.  Estate battles can last years and cost tens of thousands of dollars, or even hundreds of thousands of dollars. 

If you have not done your estate planning, or have concerns about your current plan, please contact the Law Offices of Jenny Ling, PLLC to discuss how we can help you make a plan that will serve your family now and into the future. Wise planning that takes into account your assets as well as family dynamics can help avoid battles over your estate.  We take the time to understand your objectives and values, and family dynamics, so that your plan is customized to you and your family.  We can help you craft a comprehensive plan so that your family is not left in court and conflict after you have passed away.  We build lifetime relationships with our clients to help your plan keep up with you as your life changes. 

Jenny Ling is a partner at the Law Offices of Jenny Ling, PLLC.  She focuses her practices on estate planning, business succession planning, business and bankruptcy.