How to Avoid Fights Over Your Estate

by Jenny Ling, Esq.

During a high stress situation like a loved one’s death or incapacity, even the most loving family can make hurtful decisions, or just be at a loss as to what to do.  Far too many families end up fighting, or at least experiencing tension, over a family inheritance.  A death in the family does not always bring out the best in people.  But it does not have to be that way.  Here are some strategies to avoid your family fighting over your estate after you are gone.

Have a well-crafted, comprehensive estate plan

Our goal as comprehensive estate planners is to keep your family out of court and out of conflict.  A well-crafted, comprehensive plan can give your family structure so there is no opportunity to fight.

All families are unique, and that also applies to their estate planning needs.  While a simple will can suffice for some, there are other families who require more detailed estate planning services.  One of the best ways to prevent strife among surviving family members is to work with an experienced estate planning attorney to create an estate plan that is the best fit for your particular set of needs.

This is especially important if you have a blended family.  You likely want to provide for your new spouse as well as any children from your previous marriages.  However, there is no guarantee that if you leave your assets to your new spouse, he or she will provide for your children after you are gone. 

Be open and communicate with family members and loved ones about your estate plan.

Once you have made your estate plan, do not keep it a secret.  You want to avoid surprises.  You do not necessarily need to tell everyone what and how much they will be receiving, but you can explain how you are dividing the property.  You can even write a letter to keep with your estate plan to share after your death to explain your reasoning to your loved ones.

Keep in mind that your family members do not have to agree with you – after all, these are your decisions to make, and they do not have a vote.  But if everyone knows that you made your decisions thoughtfully, not in anger or by mistake, that can go a long way to reduce tensions.

Talk to your family about incapacity planning.  Let them know that you have selected certain people to make financial and medical decisions for you if you are unable.

Keep your estate plan up-to-date

Be sure to update your will, trust and beneficiary designations every 3-5 years or whenever you have a major life change, such as marriage, a new child, divorce, or the death of a major beneficiary.  This is good advice, because you want to make sure your documents reflect your current wishes. 

There is another benefit as well:  your continuing involvement can head off suspicions that you did not take an active role in your estate planning and were so influenced by someone else that your decisions were not really your own.  That is why we offer a complimentary 3-year review for all of our comprehensive estate plans so you can make sure your estate plan grows with your life.

Make a Plan

You have spent a lifetime building your estate.  The last thing you want is for that estate to be the cause of anger, resentment, and frustration among your loved ones.  Take the time now to create an estate plan that will give your loved ones the time to grieve, not argue.  We call it planning for your legal life because it is more about your life and family than just your estate.

If you do not have a plan, or are worried that the plan you have will not avoid a fight after you are gone, Contact Us today for a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation.

Jenny Ling is a partner at the Law Offices of Jenny Ling, PLLC.  She focuses her practices on estate planning, business succession planning, business and bankruptcy.